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You know you’re a database admin when…

As a database administrator, you’re sure to understand these headaches and anomalies that the rest of the world is fortunate enough to avoid!

You mentally join unrelated topics

Day in, day out, you connect seemingly unrelated data to generate exciting reports and insights for your paymasters. Secretly you even enjoy it. But you can also do the same amazing linking trick with any topic outside work too – you even know whether to use inner or outer joins for the best results.

You worry about the logs

When it comes time to reboot a server, your systems administrator is only concerned about current client connections and projected downtime. But not you. No, you’re worried about whether every transaction has been committed and the logs have been properly flushed. Even though you know everything will be fine, those transaction logs make you sweat!

You inventory your possessions in a relational database

Most “normal” people are happy to maintain a mental list of books and DVDs, but you know that your skills can help simplify and improve the process. Never again will you forget about a certain volume, nor be stuck when choosing the perfect movie for any occasion. Because your entire collection is recorded, tagged and fully searchable. Assuming you have the applicable level of SQL scripting expertise.

You shun GUI management tools

Database engines are built with command line interfaces first – management GUIs are just a helpful add-on for n00bs. But you are a master of Powershell, T-SQL and text-only table creation, so there’s none of that picture-driven, mouse-clicking nonsense for you.

You may actually enjoy the supermarket

Where others hate the onerous task of fighting among crowded aisles, you relish the opportunity. Filling your trolley can be an exciting list of SELECT (*) WHERE x = y type statements. You even mentally add up your bill using SUM. This is SQL scripting in the real world, and you love it.

You have genuine database heroes

Everyone knows who Larry Ellison is, and what he represents. But what about the real heroes of the relational database? Charles Bachman and Edgar F. Codd are more than just vaguely remembered characters from a computer science lecture in the distant past – they are truly inspirational people who helped make relational databases an integral part of modern life.

So there you have it, six things only a real database administrator will understand. Do you think these are now innate to you due to your line of work?

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